I was determined to get to bed before midnight tonight, but before doing so I automatically checked Google Reader. And then it happened. Sara made this post, sharing a video clip made by her friend Tiffani. She warned to have Kleenexes ready, but she didn't mention anything about needing a bath towel to wipe the puddle of tears off the floor. It's not hard for me to get slightly emotional over stories, clips or movies involving children. But this time it was different. It reached deep within me, stirring some emotions that I didn't have time or energy to face for a while. So here I am, doing my best putting those emotions into words...
There are no words that can describe the moment you meet that tiny human being that had been growing inside you for 9 long months. First you count the wrinkles, then watch them smooth out as your tiny newborn turns into a crawling infant, walking toddler, running pre-schooler, dancing 1st grader... You know it was love at first sight, and you want it to last forever, always just as overwhelming and unconditional as you felt it in those first few minutes, hours, days, and weeks of your baby's life...
She was always my spirited child.
Not a day goes by when we don't butt our heads together.
So am I.
She is competitive.
I am not. But only because I had to make myself quit being competitive years ago, knowing how personally I took it.
She dreams and lets her imagination run wild.
I still do it too.
She longs to have more friends. Real friends. Not just friends she gets to see once a week.
And I feel her pain.
Her personality has been more explosive than ever lately. I'm trying hard to find or create peace in our home. But it's sparse, inconsistent, unpredictable. I end up getting lost in the chaos that rules our home these days, caught in the middle of daily fights, meltdowns, mood swings. And I often forget what really matters. I forget to look for those priceless and unique sides of her personality that make her shine. She means the world to me. Unforgettable, spontaneous, fierce, inquisitive, brilliant, intense, radiant, goofy, sensitive 6.5 year old daughter of mine. The child that opened the door to motherhood for me...
She's all that. x10.