November 29, 2010

Always special

I was determined to get to bed before midnight tonight, but before doing so I automatically checked Google Reader. And then it happened. Sara made this post, sharing a video clip made by her friend Tiffani. She warned to have Kleenexes ready, but she didn't mention anything about needing a bath towel to wipe the puddle of tears off the floor. It's not hard for me to get slightly emotional over stories, clips or movies involving children. But this time it was different. It reached deep within me, stirring some emotions that I didn't have time or energy to face for a while. So here I am, doing my best putting those emotions into words...


There are no words that can describe the moment you meet that tiny human being that had been growing inside you for 9 long months. First you count the wrinkles, then watch them smooth out as your tiny newborn turns into a crawling infant, walking toddler, running pre-schooler, dancing 1st grader... You know it was love at first sight, and you want it to last forever, always just as overwhelming and unconditional as you felt it in those first few minutes, hours, days, and weeks of your baby's life...

She was always my spirited child.


Not a day goes by when we don't butt our heads together.

She's fire.
I'm fire.

She's impatient.
So am I.

She is competitive.

I am not. But only because I had to make myself quit being competitive years ago, knowing how personally I took it.

She dreams and lets her imagination run wild.
I still do it too.

She longs to have more friends. Real friends. Not just friends she gets to see once a week.
And I feel her pain.

Her personality has been more explosive than ever lately. I'm trying hard to find or create peace in our home. But it's sparse, inconsistent, unpredictable. I end up getting lost in the chaos that rules our home these days, caught in the middle of daily fights, meltdowns, mood swings. And I often forget what really matters. I forget to look for those priceless and unique sides of her personality that make her shine. She means the world to me. Unforgettable, spontaneous, fierce, inquisitive, brilliant, intense, radiant, goofy, sensitive 6.5 year old daughter of mine. The child that opened the door to motherhood for me...

She's all that. x10.


Tiff said...

oh, this is a beautiful post. it made ME tear up. in a good way.

I put the video together, but I haven't even shared the video on my own blog, LOL. when I do, can I link to this post? I love it :)

Sara said...

So beautiful mama. We NEED to get our little 6 1/2 year olds together. They would love each other. I'm sure of it. can bring Sassy too ;-) It will be magical.

Lisa - The WagonMaster said...

I love that last picture of the two of you! Maya looks way too grown up though, it makes me panic a little...

: )

Olya said...

Tiff, thank you for such beautiful video. I'm now watching my 6 year old practice her Irish dancing and teaching her little sister to do some steps. THIS is who she is, and I'm determined to try harder to pay more attention to all the wonderful things she does.

Feel free to link to my post, you'll do me an honour!

Sara, any time you are in UT! Maya would love to have a friend like Bella and maybe learn some hooping moves from her :)

Ian Journal Entry said...


I love reading to your posts.You manage to find such wonderful words and full of life.I know what you mean by having kids it is amazing even thought sometimes it is so crazy.
Also I'm very impressed by you determination of work.Where did you find time to sew .Keep going on.Let me know if you still are looking for a place.

Tatiana Bow

Annie said...

beautiful, you are both so lucky to have each other

Anonymous said...

You always manage to post just what I need to read each time I come here. :)

Anonymous said...

Kieran turns 7 on Thursday and I've been really struggling with it. I wish 6 lasted forever. I know that every 7 years our bodies have replaced all their cells. This means that he will on a cellular level no longer be that newborn I held and snuggled close to my breast. Who knew growing up could be both so wonderful and so difficult.

Thank you for your blog that reminds me to hold on to the still beautiful chaos that rocks every moment of the day. Lots of love to you!........jess :)